domesticavengers:

Thanks to autumnfable for the link

theavengersshouldnttext:

Part 1 of ??? from the anonymous prompt “Pick-up lines!!!”

Steve:Hey, Natasha. Can I run something by you?

Natasha: Um. Depends. Is it legal?

Steve: Of course it is! What kind of person do you think I am?

Natasha: Oh yeah, apple pie and integrity and all that. Anyway, what do you need?

Steve: Do you think this would work on Tony?

Natasha: NO OH GOD I DO NOT WANT TO SEE A PICTURE OF YOUR STAR SPANGLED JUNK

Steve: “Did it hurt?” then he’d say “what?” and I’d say “When you fell from heaven?”

Natasha: oh steve. oh honey. 

Natasha: that was maybe worse than a dick pic

Steve: What did I do wrong?

Steve: And what the hell is a dick pic?

Natasha: A better question would probably be what DIDN’T you do wrong

Natasha: and trust me, you really don’t want to know

dis gun b gud